Each year to kick off the cross country season we try to rehash this reminder of the origins of cross country running going back into the 15th century and William Shakespeare's attempt to preserve it in history and literature. George Brose
SHAKESPEARE UNDERSTOOD CROSS COUNTRY
When
I first saw Henry V performed on the silver screen by Kenneth Brannagh, I was so moved by the St.
Crispin’s Day speech before the Battle
of Agincourt that I felt like getting up in the cinema and kicking someone’s
you know what. The Bard caught what
many in modern times call the pre-game or pre-meet coach’s speech and set it alight. It was
meant to inspire people who would
go into battle seemingly not caring if they
lived or died as long as their side carried the day. He tells them that later the survivors would
be able on the date of this event roll
up their sleeves and look at the scars they earned and tell their grandchildren
what happened on that day. He talks
about the men who stayed behind in England when his men would be fighting. How they would regret not being there. He invokes the passions of men to overlook
the odds and go forth and believe in themselves. Mind over matter.
The
battle took place in April, 1415 near the end of the Hundred Years War between
England and France. On this day the French knights greatly outnumbered the English
and they were on their home ground. They
definitely had home field advantage as Henry and his men had been on the march
for some time and were cold and wet and short of rations. However this battle was to turn the medieval way of warfare on its head. The French army consisted of armed nobility,
men who had all taken vows of chivalry.
They did not use the common man to represent them in battle, (one) as they did not want to arm the peasants and
risk an uprising, and (two) because war
was considered a gentleman’s privilege.
Were that not still the case.
The
English however were not kin to those thoughts having also fought a ‘civil’ war
(The War of the Roses) for years between themselves and resorted to the
recruiting, training, and arming of the less than noble folk. Furthermore the English were on the cusp of
weapons technology and had developed the longbow which was capable of piercing
French armor. When Henry’s men set arrow
to the bow, the French knights were doomed.
This battle demarked the end of the middle ages and the beginning of the
Renaissance. Two hundred years later
Shakespeare was able to reignite those times in his plays.
The
King is referred to by his men as King Harry.
This is a corruption of Henri or what it
sounded like in the ears of the common
folk. Henry V had blood mixed
with the French in his veins. In fact
it is a derivation from the French Henri
and the original Old German Heinrich or
Haimirich.. Harry became a very popular
name in England and was even used in the popular phrase, ‘every Tom , Dick ,
and Harry’.
So
what we have here is a modest attempt to update the story in the context of a
late season cross country meet. The team of coach Harry is attempting to get
through the NCAA district meet and on to the nationals at Terre
Haute, a name perhaps lost on the
unwashed and unschooled.
When
starting this little exercise I thought of Coach Harry Groves the venerable
dean of Penn State Cross Country and Track and Field. Harry is a legend and the epitome of
the salty toughness of the old time coaches.
I never met the man, but the stories about him can be found on the
Penn State alumni track blog. How do you
say ‘reverence’ and ‘fear’ in the same breath?
Read the blog and get the answer.
"I'd rather see you laying in a gutter with your head split open than to see you run like that."
-Coach Groves, following a poor showing of 800M runners at a Beaver Stadium Meet, late 70's.
https://psutafalumnigolf.blogspot.ca/
My
own college coach at Oklahoma, Bill Carroll, used to say before the big
races. “This ain’t no county meet. And if you’re not ready to go all out and
give 100%, just get on the bus and wait there.
We won’t say a thing.”
You
will see on the left, the original St. Crispian’s Speech as Shakespeare wrote
it. On the right side our updated Cross
Country Version. You may also reference
the speech as Brannagh and Sir Laurence Olivier delivered it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-yZNMWFqvM Kenneth Brannagh
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9fa3HFR02E Laurence Olivier
The Life of
Henry the Fifth
Wm.
Shakespeare
Act 4 Scene III
The English
Camp
Enter GLOUCESTER, BEDFORD, EXETER, ERPINGHAM, SALISBURY
and WESTMORLAND
|
As
W. Shakespeare did write his noble script GLOUCESTER:
Where is the king? BEDFORD:
The king himself is rode to view the battle. WESTMORLAND: Of
fighting men they have full three score thousand. EXETER There’s
five to one; besides, they are all fresh. SALISBURY God’s
arm strike with us! ‘tis a fearful
odds. God
be wi’ you princes all; I’ll to my charge: If
we no more meet till we meet in heaven, Then
joyfully, my noble Lord of Bedford, My
dear Gloucester, and my good Lord Exeter, And my kind kinsmen, warriors all, adieu! BEDFORD:
Farewell,
good Salisbury; and good luck go With
thee! EXETER Farewell,
kind lord; fight valiantly to-day: And
yet I do thee wrong to mind thee of it, For
thou art framed of the firm truth of valour. EXIT SALISBURY BEDFORD He is
full of valour as of kindness; Princely
in both. WESTMORLAND O
that we now had here But
on ten thousand of these men in England That
do no work to-day! KING
HENRY V: What’s
that he wishes so? My
cousin Westmorland? N, my fair Cousin: If
we are mark’d to die, we are enow To
do our conty loss; and if to live, The
fewer men, the greater share of honour. God’s
will! I pray thee, wish not one man
more. By
Jove, I am not covetous for gold, Nor
care I who doth feed upon m cost; It
yearns me not if men my garments wear; Such
outward things dwell not in my desires” But
if it be a sin to covet honour, I
am the most offending soul alive. No,
faith, my coz, wish not a man from England: God’s
peace! I would not lose so great an
honour As
one man more, methinks, would share from me For
the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more! Rather
proclaim it, Westmorland, through my host, That
he which hath no stomach to this fight, Let
him depar, his passport shall be made And
crowns for convoy put into his purse: We
would not die in that man’s company That
fears his fellowship to die with us. This
day is called the feast of Crispian: He
that outlives this day, and comes safe home, Will
stand a tip-toe when the day is named. And
rouse him at the name of Crispian. He
that shall live this day, and see old age, Will
yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, And
say ‘To-morrow is Saint Crispian:’ Then
will he strip his sleeve and show his scars. And
say ‘These wounds I had on Crispin’s day.’ Old
me forget: yet all shall be forgot, But
he’ll remember with advantages What
feats he did that day: then shall our names. Familiar
in his mouth as household words Harry
the king, Bedford and Exeter, Warwick,
and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester, be in their flowing cups freshly
remember’d. This
story shall the good man teach his son; And
Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by, From
this day to the ending of the world, But
we in it shall be remember’d; We
few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For
he to-day shat sheds his blood with me Shall
be my brother; be he ne’er so vile, This
day shall gentle his condition; And
gentlemen in England now a-bed Shall
think themselves accursed they were not here, And
hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks that fought with us upon St. Crispin’s
day. Re-enter SALISBURY SALISBURY My
Sovereign lord, bestow yourself with speed The
French are bravely in their battles set, And
will with all expedience charge on us. KING
HENRY V All
things are ready, if our minds be so. WESTMORLAND Perish the man whose mind is backward
now. KING HENRY V Thou dost not wish more help from
England, coz? WESTMORLAND God’s will! My liege, would you and I along without
more help, Could fight this royal battle. KING HENRY V Wy, now thou has unwish’d five thousand men; which likes me better than
To wish us one. You know your places: God be with you all. ENTER MOUNTJOY Once more I come to know of thee King
Harry, If for thy ransom thou wilt now
compound, Before thy most assured overthrow: For cedrtainly thou art so near the gulf Thou needs must be englutted. Besides in mercy, The constable desires thee thou wilt
mind Thy followers of repentance: that their souls May make a peaceful and a sweet retire
from off these fields, where, wretches, their poor bodies must lie and fester. KING HENRY V Who hath sent thee? MOUNTJOY The constable of France. KING HENRY V I
pray thee, bear my former answer back: Bid
them achieve me and then sell my bones. Good
God! Why should they mock poor fellows thus? The
man that once did sell the lion’s skin While
the beast lived, and was killed with hunting him. A
many of our bodies shall no doubt Find
native graves; upon the which, I trust, Shall
witness live in brass of this day’s work: And
those that leave their valiant bones in France, Dying
like men, though buried in your dunghills, They
shall be famed; for there the sun shall greet them, And
draw their honours reeking up to heaven; Leaving
their earthly parts to choke your clime, The
smell whereof shall breed a plague in France Mark
then abounding valour in our English, That
being dead, like to the bullet’s grazing, Break
out into a second course of mischief, Killing
in relapse of mortality. Let
me speak proudly: tell the constable We
are but warriors for the working-day; Our
gayness and our gilt are all besmirch’d With
rainy marching in the painful field; There’s
not a piece of feather in our host- Good argument,
I hope, we will not fly- And
time hath worn us into slovenry: But
by the mass , our hearts are in the trim; And
my poor soldiers tell me, yet ere night They’ll
be in fresher robes, or they will pluck The
gay new coats o’er the French soldiers’ heads And
turn them out of service. If they do
this- As if
God please, they shall- my ransom then Will
soon be levied. Herald, save thou thy
labour; Come
thou no more for ransom, gentle herald: They
shall have none, I swear, I swear, but these my joints; Which
if they have as I will leave ‘em them, Shall
yield them little, tell the constable. MOUNTJOY I
shall, King Henry. And so fare thee
well: Thou
never shalt hear herald any more. Enter York YORK My Lord,
most humbly on my knee I beg The
leading of the vanguard. KING HENRY V Take
it, brave, York. Now, soldiers, march
away: And
how thou pleases, God dispose the day! Exeunt |
Updated Version (with apologies) GLOUCESTER:
Where the f --k is Coach Harry? BEDFORD: He’s in his golf cart looking O’er the cross country course. WESTMORLAND: The French are loaded with studs. EXETER: They’ve all been tapering and Harry’s
dusted our arses at practice the past fortnight. SALISBURY: If God is on our side, but I fear He’s not, We’ll
all be in shit by the mile marker. Good
luck you guys, I’ll be over at the Coaches’
tent watching the JV race from there. Meet
you at the vans afterward. BEDFORD: Best to ya, Sali. (Aside to Exeter) He’ll be rollin’ in shit
himself after that JV race.. EXETER:
Luck Sali – Do your best, That’s
all we can ask (Aside to Bedford) Bleedin’ Sali stole my spikes. RUNNING
LIKE HELL BEDFORD: Yeah, he’s a two-faced lying arsehole. WESTMORLAND: Why can’t we recruit a few more milers like
we did in Viet Nam? To get a better
body count.
KING
HENRY V: What’s
that freakin’ Westmorland trying to pull over on me? I
gave him that grad assistant job Cause
our mothers are sisters, and He
goes behand my back, the lout. I’d
rather run with five guys, lean And
mean than take them down with With
numbers. Get those JV’s out Of
my sight. Those
high school wonders, All
wanting full rides, they never Produce. I’m
down to my jockstrap for a Budget. All
I want is to win this f---ing District. If we can get by Michigan Terre
Haute
come Thanksgiving
Day. Have
faith, cousin Westy, do not Seek
one more replacement if you Value
your assistantship. Let
any of these slackers who is not Ready
to give 110% just get on the Bus
right now and never show Himself
again at practice. Today
is the feast of St. Crispian. And
Even though we are a state Sponsored
university, we will undo That
PC sanction and honour our Saintly
heritage. And someday when We
are farts redundant, shall we pull Up
our trouser legs And
show off our Spiking
scars at the Legion Hall. And
the lads swilling the cheap beer Will
remember our names – Coach
Harry, Bedford, Exeter, Warwick, and Talbot and Salisbury and Gloucester. They will teach their sons and daughters
now, and St. Crispian shall never go by without the world remembering how we
few, we band of brothers did meet the test, Achieved
and sustained our Lactate Thresholds, and crossed the line in ….. VICTORY!!! Those
who did not answer that call but instead stayed home watching porn will curse
themselves and hide their senseless tattoos when we are honoured with our
teammates on St. Crispin’s Day. Re-enter
SALISBURY SALISBURY:
Coach,
enough with the small talk We
haven’t even our numbers on Our
beating breasts doth placed. We
need some run outs. The Frogs Are
all on the line, ready to go. KING
HENRY V It’s
mind over matter, Lads! To
Hell with run outs! WESTMORLAND Salisbury
has my f-----g spikes fer Chrissakes!! KING
HENRY V Then
run barefoot, Westmorland, You
sorry piece of rotten codfish! WESTMORELAND: OK,
Coach, but don’t say I didn’t Warn
ye! KING
HENRY V We
can pull this off , my Boys. You’ve
just got to believe in Yourselves. And may the Almighty
light a fire under your Collective
arses. ENTER
MOUNTJOY (at coaches meeting) Well,
Harry, you can pull out now and go home before your lads lay strewn across
bloody meadows, spiked to bloody shreds, Achilles ruptured, ACL’s torn
asunder. They’ll naught be ready for
the indoor season. You’ll
have to red shirt the entire team. Go
home now and suffer no more humiliation at French hands. Indeed, We
are on our home turf. You shall rot in the sun. KING
HENRY V: Who sent you with this piece of crap message of foreboding? MOUNTJOY: ‘Tis
the surrogate of the French, one Dassler
from the Rhinelands, Purveyor
of a magic footwear that will Make
us invincible to your Fearsome Farm
Lads. Beware the three stripes Shall
leave a mark on your backsides. KING
HENRY V: I
tell you, Man, take this my answer back to your Kraut purveyor, that your
offer to retreat insults us too much to accept. There
will be no baby cast out with the bath on this playing field. We’d
rather leave our bones upon Your
campus to fester and reek sores Upon
your coeds, then walk away from our fate with tails ‘twixt our Loins. Let
me say with pride that we are Gay
Warriors cloaked in Crimson and Gold and Fuschia though a bit soiled from
this incessant French Reign, if you so deign a wretched Pun. Is
there no decent dry cleaners in this forsaken land? Our secret is a second wardrobe, Versachi no
less . While you French must be
content in your derivative Dior and Louis Vuitton purses. You
shall go running backwards and From
these Fields bare arsed when We
English are finished with our work Come
no more with offers of Surrender, Mountjoy. MOUNTJOY You
shall hear no more from the likes of me, King Henry. You may mange de la merde! KING HENRY V Whadd
he say, whadd he say? York. YORK Never
mind, Sire, you would not like the taste of those words, but do let me set the pace on the first
mile. A 4:15 doth quiver in my loins. KING HENRY V Take
it out hard, fair York. And
should God care a hoot This
day shall be England’s and you Dear York,
shall wear the noble boot. Off They
Go! |
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