V 13 N. 102 The Ingebrigtsen Case

 

The Ingebrigtsen Case

In the past week the Ingebrigtsen family of Norwegian world class runners Henrik, Filip, and Jakob and their coach father Gjert have projected themselves into the limelight with accusations by the sons that their father had been abusive and violent to them as the head of their family and as their mentor and coach.

The brothers have stated in an op-ed on October 19, 2023 in the Norwegian newspaper VG that their father, Gjert Ingebrigtsen, "had been very aggressive and controlling" and "used physical violence and threats as part of our upbringing."

    While no details have been made public by the sons, the Norwegian police have opened an investigation into the matter.

     Having worked in the field of child safety, abuse, and neglect for over twenty years what I find intriguing and difficult in this case is the athletic success of the brothers despite their allegations of abuse. Often times children turn away or abandon the sport or the art that has been imposed upon them by a demanding parent. In the Ingebrigtsen family, this has not been the situation. 

       In a slightly different context, some parents turn their children over to coaches and mentors who can be very demanding, even violent in their relationship toward the child/athlete.  In situations like that, are the parents as guilty as the coach?  

       This is clearly a family in turmoil. The patriarch, Gjert, has also been sanctioned, as a result of his sons’ allegations, from participating as a coach in the recent world championships in Budapest. Although the sons have split with Gjert, he currently coaches one of the closest rivals to Jakob in the 1500 meters, the Norwegian teenager Narve Gilje Nordas. What must the Nordas family be thinking?

       As a former coach and an observer of coaches and families of athletes I can look back and see all kinds of relationships that I have admired and others I’ve been disgusted by. I can think of some that appeared stable on the outside but were later revealed to be total chaos within. That applies to any realm of human performance and family dynamics including art and music and then just general human, every day existence. Different children respond differently to all kinds of training and discipline when they are growing up and when they are close to becoming adults. And for a parent to know where there is a boundary which they cannot cross is not an easy task. Parents’ judgements are often based on how they themselves were raised. We know that family discipline was a lot more aggressive in generations past.  Coaching was also a lot more openly aggressive sixty or seventy years ago.    Spousal abuse and child abuse only went on the books as crimes in the US in the 1970’s. In these cases which come to the attention of social workers and police, the boundaries are not always clear lines drawn in the sand. Many times a social worker has to err on the side of caution to protect a child. Was a bruise on a child's arm the result of a beating or pulling them out  of the way of danger?   Sometimes that social worker’s judgement is overturned upon more careful investigation. Sometimes the wounds caused by social services in removing a child from perceived danger can be as hurtful to the family as the alleged danger that that child’s life appeared to be in at the time.

At this stage of the ‘Ingebrigtsen case’ if that is what we can call it in a legal sense, I’m not sure what Norwegian law says about looking backwards in time to the alleged abuse, now that those three brothers are adults. Would the case still fall under the child protection laws or become a charge in another level of jurisdiction? Were the three brothers adults prior to the time they broke away from their father? If they were adults then charges of abuse and violence would probably fall under the adult jurisdiction.

My other questions are, “What happens to the other four children in the Ingebrigtsen home?” If they are still juveniles, do they need the protection of children’s services? Should they be removed from the home or at the least some supervision order be placed on the parents? This adds the question of what extent the mother is involved in the situation. Is she a victim as well or an enabler? That is a whole other area that may be investigated.

None of the possible outcomes to this case are something I would wish upon anyone. This family needs a lot of healing to go on if anyone is to find any peace. Peace will not come quickly or without a lot of pain.  

    What I tend to forget when writing about a situation like this is how many incredibly wonderful coaches and parents are out there doing the best job they know how to be great examples to young people in all stages of growing up.  

   George Brose

Comments:   

What a surprise.  I did not see that coming.  Outstanding summary of the possibilities, George, but whatever abuse took place, it certainly and surprisingly resulted in incredible performances.  In a book about the 100 best baseball players of all time, their fathers tended to either be tyrants or supporters in nearly equal numbers.  Had those players been raised by the opposite type of parents, would they have achieved the same results?  The same can be asked about the Ingebrigtsen kids.  Bill Schnier

Dear George:

Key to all of this is what we don't know.

Perhaps a thorough investigation will reveal it.

Your summary is well stated.  The coaches I have had (3) leaned toward the aggressive but never to the point of causing me to want to give up running.

I doubt, with their fame, the brothers will stop but it is sad to see internal family dynamics played out in public.

Take care,

Tom